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R

remains, rest in peace (R.I.P.), returned to the ground, rode off into the sunset, rubbed out, run down the curtain

S

sell the farm, shuffled off the mortal coil, six-feet under, sleeping with the fishes, snuffed, snuff it, snuffed out, sprouted wings, stiff, stone-dead, succombed, suffered an unfortunate turn of events, sustained a therapeutic misadventure

T

taking a dirt nap, taken from us, terminal episode, terminally-inconvenienced, terminated, terminated with extreme prejudice, that good night, took his/her last breath, T.U. - Toes Up, turn their toes up, turn into a ghost

V

VSA - Vital Signs Absent

W

wandering the Elysian fields, went to the big blue baseball field/shopping mall in the sky, whacked, with the ancestors, and last but not least, worm food.

GENTLE WORDS FOR GENTLE MEN?

The eighteenth century is full of fun...from inns of inequity to palaces of pleasure, and the English language from Shakespeare onwards has been a riot of linguistic wit and mirthful mayhem.

Here are a few choice phrases referring to the flamboyance of some fly-by-night fellows.

• Gentleman Commoner: An empty bottle.

• Gentleman's Companion: A louse or gnit.

• Gentleman's Master: A highway robber.

• Gentleman of Three Ins: A gentleman who is in debt, in jail, and in danger of remaining there for life.

• Gentleman of Three Outs: A gentleman who is without credit/money, without wit, and without manners.

The English language is full of colorful terms for the expulsion of "vagrant airs and volatile subjects" by members of the animal kingdom.

Those who perpetrate foul winds in enclosed places or at inopportune times such as "Puff the Methane Dinosaur" may be referred to as "frigging freepers" "flaming farteurs", "flutterblasters", "fundusbreakers" or simply those who are known by family and friends as "Flatus Factory.

The "random if not reticent release of a wayward wind", or perhaps several "entertaining emissions" may also be referred to in mixed company at a social gathering as "a cocktail party "calico", "a party paradiddle" or "a sumptuous slider". Scientific snobs also known as "Princes of Plotch & Scotch" prefer to define these "enigmatic emanations" as "self-processed, self-propelled and self-stoked organic fuels in a self-contained power plant".

The real question is whether they're willing to accept the entertaining euphemisms for the "elderly": active-lifestyler, advanced in years, bat, biddy, chronologically-gifted, contemplative character, codger, cougar, crone, curmudgeon, dentured dandy, empty-nester, fogey, Freedom 55er, gaffer, geezer, golden-ager, granny, gramps, grey-hairs, Little Old Lady (LOL), Little Old Man (LOM), longer-living, mature individual, ninny, noteworthy for his/her character lines, octogenarian, old biddy, old coot, old dog, old fox, old soul, oldster, old-timer, over-the-hill, positive ager, prime-timer, retiree, salt-and-pepper generation, self-caring person, senior citizen, senior, seasoned citizen, silver fox, Third-Ager, wise woman, women of a certain age, woman of substance, and young-at-heart.

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