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Vous & Tu
When talking to a stranger, use the formal form of address (vous). Don’t use the familiar form (tu/toi) or call someone by his Christian name until you’re invited to do so. Generally the older, more important or simply local person will invite the other to use the familiar tu form of address (called tutoiement) and first names; in fact, the switch will suddenly happen and you should pick up on it immediately or you will forever be stuck with the vous form. The familiar form is used with children, animals and God, but almost never with your elders or work superiors.
However, the French are becoming less formal and the under 50s often use tu and first names with work colleagues (unless they’re of the opposite sex, when tu may imply a special intimacy!), and will quickly switch from vous to tu with new social acquaintances, although older people may be reluctant to make the change. Some people always remain vous, such as figures of authority (the local mayor) or those with whom you have a business relationship, e. g. your bank manager, tax officials and policemen.
Gifts in France
If you’re invited to dinner by a French person (which is a sign that you’ve been accepted into the community), take along a small present of flowers, a plant or chocolates. Gifts of foreign food or drink aren’t generally well received unless they’re highly prized in France such as scotch whisky; foreign wine, however good the quality, isn’t recommended!
Some people say you must never take wine, as this implies that your hosts don’t know what wine to buy, although this obviously depends on your hosts and how well you know them. If you do take wine, however, don’t be surprised if your hosts put it to one side for a future occasion; they will already have planned the wine for the meal and know that a wine needs to settle before it can be drunk.
Flowers can be tricky, as to some people carnations mean bad luck, chrysanthemums are for cemeteries (they’re placed on graves on All Saints’ Day), red roses signify love and are associated with the Socialists and yellow roses have something to do with adultery, and marigolds (soucis) simply aren’t de rigueur. If in doubt, ask a florist for advice.
Eating & Drinking in France
You shouldn’t serve any drinks (or expect to be served one) before all guests have arrived - even if some are an hour or more late! If you’re offered a drink, wait until your host has toasted everyone’s health (santé) before taking a drink. Never pour your own drinks (except water) when invited to dinner. If you aren’t offered a (nother) drink, it’s time to go home. Always go easy on the wine and other alcohol; if you drink to excess you’re unlikely to be invited back! The French say bon appétit before starting a meal and you shouldn’t start eating until your hosts do. It’s polite to eat everything that’s put on your plate. Cheese is served before dessert.
Conversation
The French love detailed and often heated discussions, but there are certain topics of conversation that need handling with care. These include money, which is generally avoided by the French; it’s a major faux pas to ask a new acquaintance what he does for a living, as his job title will often give an indication of his salary. Far safer to stick to discussions of food and drink. When conversing, even in the midst of a heated debate, avoid raising your voice, which is considered vulgar. Note also that the French often stand close when engaging in conversation, which you may find uncomfortable or even threatening at first.
Gesticulating
Like the Italians, the French talk with their hands - often more than with their tongues - but the art of gesticulation can be as difficult to master (and as full of pitfalls for the unwary) as the spoken language. Here are a few tips that could help you avoid a faux pas: never point with your index finger, which is considered rude, but use an open hand (which should also be used when ‘thumbing’ a lift); similarly, beckon with your four fingers, palm down; the thumb is used to mean ‘one’ when counting, not the index finger; to indicate boredom, rub your knuckles against your cheek, to show surprise, shake your hand up and down, and to convey disbelief pull down your lower eyelid; tapping your fingers on the opposite forearm while raising the forearm slightly indicates an impending or actual departure - usually as a result of boredom! The classic French shrug is perhaps best left to the natives!
Cards
The sending of cards, other than birthday cards, isn’t as common in France as in some other countries. It isn’t, for example, usual to send someone a card following a bereavement or after passing a driving test. Instead of Christmas cards, the French send New Year cards, but only to people they don’t normally see during the year.
Dress code in France
Although the French are often formal in their relationships, their dress habits, even in the office, are often extremely casual. Note, however, that the French tend to judge people by their dress, the style and quality being as important as the correctness for the occasion (people often wear ‘designer’ jeans to dinner). You aren’t usually expected to dress for dinner, depending of course on the sort of circles you move in. On invitations, formal dress (black tie) is smoking exigé/tenue de soirée and informal dress is tenue de ville.
Phone Calls
Always introduce yourself before asking to speak to someone on the telephone. Surprisingly it’s common to telephone at meal times, e. g.12.00 to 14.00 and around 20.00, when you can usually be assured of finding someone at home. If you call at these times, you should apologise for disturbing the household. It isn’t always advisable to make calls after 14.00 in the provinces, when many people have a siesta.
Noise
It’s common for there to be noise restrictions in French towns and villages, particularly with regard to the use of lawnmowers and other mechanical tools. Restrictions are imposed locally and therefore vary, but in general, noisy activities are prohibited before around 08.00 or 09.00 every day, after 19.00 on weekdays and Saturdays and after 12.00 on Sundays, and additionally at lunchtime on Saturdays.
French Wedding Traditions
French Traditions and Traditions Before the Marriage Ceremony
The traditional bridal trousseau, or hope chest, originated in France and came from the French word trousse, meaning bundle.
The popularity of a bride wearing a white wedding gown on her day of matrimony, began in France several hundred years ago. The custom of having fragrant flowers as decorations and bridal bouquets has also been popular for centuries. Each flower represents a special and unique meaning to the bride and groom, and especially fragrant flowers helped freshen things up a bit, before deodorant and perfumes were invented. Wedding bells in France were usually heard in spring and summer when it was warm enough for everyone to bathe!
Still practiced in small villages today, is a traditional French custom, for the groom to call on his future bride at her home on the morning of their wedding day. As he escorts her to the wedding chappel, the town's children stretch white ribbons across the road, which the bride cuts. The groom usually walks his mother down the aisle just prior to the main wedding procession.
As the newlywed couple departs from the wedding site, laurel leaves are scattered in their path for them to walk over.
French Wedding Reception
A wedding toast is made to the newlyweds sometime during the traditional French wedding reception. Following this toast, they drink, as husband and wife, from a specially engraved, double handled goblet, usually a precious family heirloom passed down from generation to generation.
After the wedding reception, and even later into the couple's wedding night, friends of the newlyweds might show up outside their window banging pots and pans, singing boisterous tunes. The groom is expected to invite them in for drinks and snacks.
Save the ribbons and bows that grace the gifts you receive at your bridal shower to create an artistic bouquet that you carry during the wedding rehearsal. Remember that each ribbon that breaks as you open the packages is said to represent the birth of a child.
Plant a seedling on the morning of or the day before your wedding to grow along with your marriage. If roses are one of your favorite blooms, you might choose the plant that is always associated with love.
Future wealth and good fortune for newlyweds is said to be inspired by slipping a lucky sixpence into one of the shoes you wear for your wedding. The sixpence first became known as a lucky coin when introduced by Edward VI of England in 1551, and later became part of wedding tradition with brides in the Victorian era.
Brides are encouraged to include "something blue" among their wedding finery to bolster the favorite old line, "Those who dress in blue have lovers true." Blue has long been considered the color of fidelity, purity and love, and was first worn in ribbons by early Jewish brides.
Carry a handkerchief passed down through generations of your family to begin your own tradition with a lacy square that you select. A bride who cries on her wedding day is never supposed to shed another tear about her marriage.
The custom of a bride being given away originated with the sale of the bride by the father to the prospective groom. Today, the tradition is considered a sign of the father entrusting his beloved daughter to the care of her husband-to-be.
The ceremonial kiss that closes the marriage ceremony is considered symbolic of an exchange of spirit as each new spouse breathes a part of the soul into the other.
The celebration of marriage is heightened by the offering of toasts to the bride and groom. Ancient French custom encouraged the newlyweds to drink the reception toast from a special cup that was typically passed among family generations. Today, couples are given special toasting goblets for their reception.
French Tradition The traditional bridal trousseau, or hope chest, originated in France and came from the French word trousse, meaning bundle. The popularity of a bride wearing a white wedding gown on her day of matrimony, began in France several hundred years ago. The custom of having fragrant flowers as decorations and bridal bouquets has also been popular for centuries. Each flower represents a special and unique meaning to the bride and groom, and especially fragrant flowers helped freshen things up a bit, before deodorant and perfumes were invented. Wedding bells in France were usually heard in spring and summer when it was warm enough for everyone to bathe!
Still practiced in small villages today, is a traditional French custom, for the groom to call on his future bride at her home on the morning of their wedding day. As he escorts her to the wedding chapel, the town's children stretch white ribbons across the road, which the bride cuts. The groom usually walks his mother down the aisle just prior to the main wedding procession. As the newlywed couple departs from the wedding site, laurel leaves are scattered in their path for them to walk over.
A wedding toast is made to the newlyweds sometime during the traditional French wedding reception. Following this toast, they drink, as husband and wife, from a specially engraved, double handled goblet, usually a precious family heirloom passed down from generation to generation. After the wedding reception, and even later into the couple's wedding night, friends of the newlyweds might show up outside their window banging pots and pans, singing boisterous tunes. The groom is expected to invite them in for drinks and snacks.
The great thing about Paris in the Spring is that Spring comes early to Paris! Around Easter time, while the buds are still struggling to open in much of rural France, even in areas far to the south of Paris, the green is bursting open all over Paris, in the parks, on the tree-lined boulevards, on balconies and terraces. So it's hardly surprising that "Paris in the spring" is something of a cliché. After the cold months of winter, the Easter holiday period is a great time to visit the French capital.
Good Friday - the Friday before Easter - is not a public holiday in France, so it's a day for business as usual in shops, museums and restaurants - though perhaps a bit less busy than on a normal Friday, since many Parisians take a long weekend and head off to the country for this first holiday weekend of the year. The official holiday is on Easter Monday which, in France as throughout Europe, is a public holiday.
Easter week is not necessarily a school holiday week; French spring school holidays do not necessarily include the Easter week or Easter weekend, it depends on the region and on when Easter falls. Easter Monday being a public holiday, many shops and public monuments such as Museums will be closed; but the Louvre is open on Easter Monday, as on Easter Sunday - though beware of the crowds on these days. Check here for other Paris tourist attractions.
As throughout Europe, Easter in France rhymes with Easter Eggs. But Easter Eggs in France are just one among many other options as far as Easter gifts are concerned. The essential common ingredient, however, is chocolate. While supermarkets of course sell industirally produced Easter eggs and other tokens, many French people will prefer to get their Easter Eggs, chocolate Easter Bunnies, Easter Hens, Easter Bells or "friture" from a local bakery, patisserie, or - for the top quality - a local "chocolatier". And generally speaking it's worth the little (or sometimes considerable) extra cost.
Local bakers, patissiers and chocolatiers pride themselves on making good-quality Easter chocolates, often individually decorated and presented with loving care. Eggs, bunnies and other chocolate animals come either "garnis" or "non-garnis", meaning filled or unfilled. Filled versions usually contain small chocolates, or small sugary eggs - and often a mixture of the two.
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